Overwhelming My Mind

I used to think it's far worse to overwhelm the heart because the pain seems greater physically. I'd feel heavy in my breathing, and there's a tightening of my chest muscles. Of course, the actual heart would be fine. It feels like it's breaking into many parts, but it's not happening literally. Only the collateral damage that I've mentioned. Unfortunately, when you've experienced overwhelming of the mind on a constant basis, as much as it feels like an intense tingling in your head, the physical toll is nothing compared to what it really does to you as a person. Not that the physical aspect of it isn't important. It's just that there's a whole lot more being shred into pieces. The bleeding doesn't stop. I don't blame people allowing themselves to be addicted to prescription drugs to alleviate the trouble an overwhelmed mind goes through. The mental war gets real fast when you're at full capacity of what you can handle. I need to relax. I need more than a day. I need an escape.

Sheltering In Place

I never thought in my life I'd be living through a pandemic. It's supposed to be scary because the virus that's killing people has no antidote yet. And, that's why folks all over have been ordered to shelter in place. For someone like me, that's not scary at all because I'm most comfortable when I'm just at home and not battling the elements of the outside world on a daily basis. It feels like a new concept. It feels weird for the most part. You're restricted, but you're also in control since your home is your domain. You know how to operate your own. You're bound to say you got this. In reality though, the longer this order from the authorities stays, the sense that you're not the boss of your life is growing fast. I don't like having to stay in one place for a very long time. It's stressful. I hope this pandemic ends soon. I love being a homebody, but I need to be somewhere else every now and then.